The Melancholy of Haruki Suzumiya
by FFxKHxDOA
Summary: "Goodbye junior, hello freshman; my name is Kyonko. I'll admit it,I've always wanted to meet an alien, time traveler, or espier. As I've gotten older, I've learned to accept the world for what it is. But thanks to Haruki Suzumiya, my life will never be the same; trust me."
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, okay, I know you guys must be pissed off at me. But see, I got a sore throat on Good Friday. And I could do was lay on the couch working on **_**MIST Island**_**. Whenever I got bored I'd watch **_**The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. **_**And that's probably when I got this idea.**

**I know someone has probably already written this, but I just felt like it. Besides on the Adventure Time Archive there's like a dozen of people who've written a gender bent version of the **_**Hot to the Touch**_** episode so yeah, I thought it was okay to do this. Anyway, enjoy! :)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing from the Haruhi Suzumiya franchise ( But I kind of wish that I did)  
_**

_Honestly, asking someone how long they believed in Santa Claus is completely pathetic. I mean, what kind of conversation is that? But if you're still curious about how long I believed in some elderly man wearing a smelly red suit, I'll tell you this; I never believed in him. Never ever. The so called "Santa" at my Kindergarten Christmas festival, I knew he wasn't real. Don't get me wrong, I didn't see mommy kissing Santa or anything. Even when I was little, I knew better than to believe in some old fart who only worked one day a year._

_As I got older, I realized that aliens, time travelers, ghosts, monsters, espiers, evil syndicates, and the anime/manga/fantasy flick heroes that fights evil syndicates…..were merely fiction._

_Okay I have a confession to make. Obviously those guys were fakes, but I just didn't want to admit it. All I've ever wanted was for an alien, time traveler, espier, or the hero who fought 'em to come out of nowhere and say," Hey!" _

_But reality can be a hard thing to accept. Yep, Mr. Laws of Physics flushes all those hopes and dreams down the crapper._

_Believe it or not, but I even stopped watching those T.V shows about aliens, and ghosts and stuff._

_Oh please. Aliens, time travelers, and espiers of course they're fake. But something inside of me kind of hopes that they're real. But I've gotten older and realized that I can still think about those things and accept what's in front of me._

_But I stopped getting involved in that type of stuff once I graduated from junior high. I guess I slowly became comfortable with staying in an ordinary world._

_And in the blink of an eye, I was a high school freshman. And that's when I met him …_

A male figure stood from behind Kyonko desk and declared," I'm Haruki Suzumiya, from East Junior High. First off, I don't have any time to waste on ordinary humans. However, if any of you are aliens, time travelers, or espiers, please report to me. And that's all I have to say."

_Was that supposed to be some kind of joke?_

_I turned around, and before my eyes was the profile of some guy with long hair wearing a headband. And I have to admit, he was kind of handsome._

The male freshman glared down at Kyonko, who kept staring him in disbelief. He sat back in his chair and folded his arms against his chest without uttering another word.

_How much you want to bet they all thought he wasn't serious? No doubt all of them. But he wasn't. And it's not a lie. Haruki is always dead serious. When I think back about it all, I want to believe it was merely coincidence._

_**Opening theme song**_

_As long as Haruki is silent, he's just like any other cute high school student._

_And my desk is just right in front of him. Could you blame me for wanting to exploit the seating arrangement so I have the opportunity to….chat it up with him._

Kyonko turned to Haruki, and with a cute moe smile and asked," Remember that stuff you said on the first day? Were you being serious?"

He simply kept staring at Kyonko and question," So? What about the stuff I said?"

"You know, about aliens, time travelers, and espiers."

"Huh? Are you an alien or something?"

"Well. No, I just-"

"Just what?"

"Just forget I said anything."

"Then why the hell are we even talking? You're wasting my time!"

And with that, Haruki remained silent and turned away from her. As Kyonko peered through the room, she could see her classmates giggling and glancing her way.  
_

**Later that day, during lunch…**

"If you're getting any ideas, read my lips,' Forget it.'"

Tanigushi, who had dark green hair that reached her shoulders, continued stuffing her face with rice and continued," After being stuck with that creep for three years, I know him pretty well. Let's just say he's what you'd call 'way over the boundary of being eccentric.'

Kunikida, who had her dark brown hair in pigtails, questioned," You mean like when he introduced herself?"

Tanigushi nodded and replied," Exactly. And man, I can't even remember a day when he wasn't doing something insane. Ever hear about that scribble incident?"

Kunikida and Kyonko thought for a moment, and Kunikida exclaimed," Oh yeah! I read about that in the local section of the daily newspaper. What was that writing anyway?"

Kyonko, with a straight face asked," Okay so he did that all by herself?"

"Yep. And Haruki actually admitted doing it. Then there was this one time I came to school early, and all the desks were crowded in the hallway. And there was this time when he painted a star on roof. I don't know what his deal is. And he's quiet the heart breaker too. Plus, he's beast when it comes to sports. And to top it all off, he's the king when it comes to sports. He's a freak of nature alright, but when he's quiet over there you could already tell something's up his sleeve."

"Let me guess, you have more gossip and Haruki?"

"Almost every week, he was picking off one girl after another, like apples off a tree. The longest any girl reached was about a week. About the poor girl who had the shortest, she asked him out, he said yes , and it ended five minutes later."

_Hmm. And let me guess that "poor girl" was you? No wonder it lasted five minutes._

"It's a real mystery, but he never turns a girl down when she grows the nerve to ask him out. So if you don't want your heart to be crushed into a million pieces, don't even try!"

_Huh? I wasn't even thinking about that kind of stuff.  
_**_**

**Later on, during Gym Class**

Tanigushi laid back on the bench, and exclaimed," If I were you, there's only one guy to go after. And that's him, Ryo Asakura. He's definitely one of the top three on the Freshman Hunk list."

"So you've checked out all the freshman guys already?"

"Yeah! I ranked almost every single one from A-D, and went as far as to memorize all the A list boys."

"So what ranking did Asakura get?"

"He earned himself a AA+. Aside from his handsome features, I can already tell that his personality's quiet charming."

The pistol fired, and Haruki, along with a group of other guys, began racing toward the finish. In the blink of an eye, Haruki outran the others; leaving everyone speechless. Haruki just ignored the stares, and sat on the steps with the rest of the male classmates.

_All these events occurred while Haruki was acting the least bit normal. Throughout that month, I was pretty calm. But little by little, Haruki's eccentricities were surfacing._

_Haruki eccentricity number one, a different hairstyle every day. As the days passed by, the number of places where he tied his hair increased. On Monday, he resets her hair and adds a tie up point each day until Friday._

_Wonder what his is on Sunday. I guess I'd like to see that._

_Haruki eccentricity number two, our Physical Education classes were split into two classrooms. When changing into our uniforms, girls use the odd number classes, while boys used the even number classes. To him it was water under the bridge whether girls were standing around. He'd just start changing into his gym clothes._

_To Haruki, girls were pretty much the same as a bag of potatoes. _

_Haruki eccentricity number three, every sports team longed for Haruki to join their respective teams. But he constantly refused_

_Haruki changed clubs daily depending on his mood. In the end, he didn't join a single one of the clubs. What the hell is that guy going to do with his life anyway?_

_Soon, it was the day after the Golden Week vacation ended._

Kyonko walked towards her desk and noticed Haruki's hair tied into two buns.

_Today's Wednesday huh?_

Kyonko sat in her desk.

_I don't know why, but something must've sparked inside of me._

Kyonko turned to face Haruki and asked," Do you change your hair daily to ward off alien invaders?"

_I was actually talking to Haruki Suzumiya_

"So when did you figure it out."

"I while ago I guess."

"Actually I have this theory that each day of the week has a certain color that only goes with that day. When I say colors I believe Monday's yellow, Tuesday's red, Wednesday's definitely blue, Thursday's green, Friday's gold, Saturday's brown, and the color for Sunday's white."

_Wow. I actually get what he's talking about._

"Okay, so convert that into numbers then Monday would be 0 and Sunday would be 6 right?"

"Yeah."

"Well Monday feels like kind of one for me."

"I don't think anyone was asking for your opinion!"

"Oh is that so?"

For a while there was an awkward silence between the two, until Haruki spoke," Have I met you before, like at some point in the past?"

"Nope."

_Usually and event is triggered by something trivial. Well, this was my trigger._

_I'm still kind of shocked that Haruki actually replied with a half decent answer. I thought he'd say something like," Fuck off, bitch! Who gives a crap?"_

_Well, you get what I mean._

_The next day, Haruki came to school with his long hair chopped off. He also wore a headband that was was yellow-orange. I mean sure, it was at a height male hair would typically be at, but cutting his hair after I made my comment. It's rather reckless, don't you think._

_From that point on, chatting with Haruki before home room became somewhat of a ritual. _

"So is it true you dumped every girl you ever dated?"

"What the hell in your right mind makes you ask me a question like that? I have no clue about all that crap you've heard! Whatever if you want to believe it, it's probably true."

"But even after all that dating, was there even one girl you was at least serious about?"

"Definitely not. They all took themselves way too seriously. And neither one of them was an alien, time traveler, or espier."

"That's how people are normally."

"Okay, then what the hell is with them asking out on the phone? Shouldn't important stuff like that be done face-to-face, not phone-to-phone."

_I'll just agree with him on that_

"Yeah, well of that's nothing, but load of baloney!"

"Then what isn't?"

"All the girls in this entire universe are completely stupid. All through Junior High that's what pissed me off the most!"

_Would it be okay if I slapped him?_

"So you'd be interested in a girl who was an alien or something like that?"

"Yeah! Anything like an alien, time traveler, or something along those lines. As long as the person isn't an ordinary human. Whether it's a boy or a girl."

"Why does it even matter if they're there not an ordinary human?"

"Because that way, life's more interesting!"

**After the school bell rang**

Kyonko stretched her arms, and watched as Haruki strolled out of the classroom. Tanigushi rushed to Kyonko's desk and asked," Hey Kyonko, you seriously need to tell me what kind of voodoo magic your using!"

"What voodoo?"

"I've never seen Haruki Suzumiya talk that long before! I'm not exaggerating, but what the hell did say to him?"

_Huh? What could I've said to him. It was all pretty much random stuff._

"This is a phenomenon!"

Kunikida walked over behind Tanigushi and remarked," Kyonko's always gone after the strange ones. The weirder the better!"

"A little louder please, so I can wipe that smile off your face!"

Ryo also began to join in the conversation." I want to know how you did it! No matter much I talk to him, I can't get Haruki to answer any of my questions. Do have any advice for me?"

"No idea."

"Still I think it's a good thing. He's been sitting alone by himself, so I happy he made a least one friend."

"Is that so?"

"Just keep doing what you're doing, 'cause maybe he'll warm up to the rest of us. And if we have anything we want to ask her, you can tell him for us."

"Hey! Wait, so I'm supposed to be your lab rat for some science experiment?"

"Please."

Asakura returned back to his group of friends, while Tanigushi pleaded," Kyonko, we're BFF's, we're Best friends right?"

_Everyone's acting weird._

_Right now we're switching seats, and we selected a number out of a cookie tin. I got the seat next to the window, second to the back. And then I was thinking how awesome it was that I didn't have to sit near that creep, Haruki, for the rest of the year._

_But, I lost the bet. Damn it!_

"So, I've heard that you've checked out all the clubs at school. Were there any ones that you were interested in?"

"Definitely none."

_An instant reply_

"Definitely none."

_He likes to use the word "definitely" a lot."_

"I thought this would get better once I enrolled into high school, but so far nothing changed. Maybe it's just this school. There was the mystery research club."

"And how was that?"

"It was pathetic, the members were nothing but mystery novel otakus. They haven't even had anything they could even classify as a case."

_Well, that figures_

"And then I had high hopes for the super natural phenomenon research club too. But that group is nothing but freaks. What do you think of it?"

"How should I know?"

"Oh my god, I'm so damn bored! Out of all these clubs, there ought to be some strange, weird ones somewhere."

"Just relax, your only human so at least be grateful for what you have in front of you. People who can't accept that present are like those inventers and discoverers. They wanted to fly, so they made airplane. They wanted to get to places faster, so they invented car, trains and stuff. Our present is the way it is because a group of people used their talent, or skill to make the impossible, possible. Ordinary humans are better off living in our ordinary world."

"Shut up."

_Maybe it was this conversation that surfaced the idea._

_  
**During that class period**

_I was ready to doze off when suddenly-_

With great force, Haruki pulled at Kyonko's cardigan, causing the back of her head to collide with his desk. In rage, Kyonko stood from her seat and shouted," What the hell's your deal?"

"I got an idea!"

"Huh?"

"If it doesn't exist, I should make it myself!"

"Make what yourself?"

"Make a club!"

"Suzumiya, you seriously need to relax."

"But this is what we're talking about! You should be excited about this!"

"Haruki, we're in the middle of class."

The entire class stared at the two, while Tanigushi whispered to a nearby male," I don't know her."

Haruki and Kyonko sat back in their seats, and Kyonko whispered," Damn you Tanigushi!"

_Once the bell rung, Haruki pulled me by my ponytail to the nearest set of steps._

"You're going to help!"

_I feel like girl being abused by her boyfriend. And don't get the wrong idea, I don't like Haruki. You really think that I'd have a crush on him after being pulled by my hair, and insulted? Yeah, hell no._

"Starting my new club, duh!"

"Why do I have to help, it's your idea. And let go of the ponytail, your giving me a headache!"

"I'll find us some members, and a club room, and you're going to personally fill out the paper work needed."

_Like I said before,' Why do I have help?'_

"What kind of club is it going to be anyways?"

"Who gives a crap? We've got to make the club first! Got it? Just do all that junk before the end of the day! I'll have a room for the club then! See yay!"

_Rules for the creation of a new extracurricular club: At least five members, a teacher to supervise, the name, the name of the person in charge, and the purpose of the organization._

_There's nothing for me to do. Its all in the back of the student handbook._

_And Haruki's little scheme with not make school life in anyway, more creative or fun. I'll bet you money on that._

_Later, Haruki dragged by my ponytail (Which still kind of hurts) towards "our" new club room._

"What do you think of our new club room?"

"Hold it a second, where are we anyways?"

"We're in the cultural department. The art club's got the art room, and the instrumental guys have the music room, am I right? Clubs that aren't really that special end up in this wing of the cultural department. They call it "the old building." This room's for the literary club."

"Then it's the literary club's room."

"Yeah, yeah, but all the senior members left during the spring. So that means no members, and if there's no members, that club's history. And this is Yuuki Nagato, he's a freshman member."

"So the club hasn't been cut yet."

"What are you so worried about. Besides, he's the only one here."

"But what are we going to do with him?"

"He said he didn't care."

"Really?"

"I came to him at lunch to ask him and he said,' Go ahead.' He doesn't give a damn as long as he has a place to read. Man, he's quite the strange one, isn't he?"

_Look who's talking_

He lowered his glasses, and revealed his eye's that were shadowed by the sun's lazy fingers.

"Yuuki Nagato."

"You do understand that my classmate, Haruki, wants to use this room for something different right? Are you seriously okay with that?"

"Yes."

"Really? But we might end up causing you trouble."

"Go ahead."

"But someday you might get kicked out of this room."

"I'm fine."

"Well, there you have it Kyonko! From now on, we'll meet up in this room right after school. And you better show up, you're on the list for death penalty!"

"Okay."

_I don't want to die_

"We need to find at least two more members."

"So you've already counted Nagato as a member?"

_Does Haruki think the room's some kind of accessory?_

"Don't worry about the other two. I got some leads on random people I can bring in!"

_The next day"_

"I'll meet you there!"

_And with that, Haruki quickly left the classroom, with excitement bursting out his eyes. And I couldn't do anything about it. I found myself shuffling over to the club room._

"So what are you reading?"

Yuuki silently stop his reading and displayed her cover.

"Is it interesting?"

"Unique."

"Which parts are specifically unique?"

"All of it."

"So you're really interested in books huh?"

"A little."

_Can I go home now?_

_The door flew open with a huge BANG. And it was, you guessed it, Haruki._

"I would've been here sooner, but it took me forever to grab him!"

_It was another guy, a really cute guy. He has red hair, and looks somewhat fifteen; maybe younger._

"What is this? Where am I? How are you people anyway?"

He listened to the moving knob on the wooden door.

"Why are you locking the door? What do want with m-"

"Just be silent."

"Lady and gentleman, allow me to introduce, Mitsuru Asahina!"

"Where'd you kidnap him from?"

"What are you talking about? He came here on his own! I spotted this one day dreaming his brains out. Every day, I make an appointment to stroll every inch of the area."

_So that's why I never see him at recess_

"So why Asahina out of all people?"

"What are you blind just look at him! He's a total little cutie!"

_Not only does he sound like a pervert, but a homo too._

"In this situation, moe is an important thing to keep in mind."

"Moe?"

"Moe! Moe! This guy's a prime example of moe! It's a rule where in books with weird things happening, you need a character wearing a maid outfit, glasses, or anything fetishy; Its essential! And that's just the beginning!"

Haruki came up from behind and grabbed Mitsuru's white shirt. With his strong grip, he undid his shirt in a single move, revealing Mitsuru's chest.

Mitsuru began screaming and shouting while Haruki remarked," He's totally rip! I mean he looks all small and frail on the outside, but he's got a six pack underneath! It really pisses me off! But we'll totally get some major publicity with these!"

Kyonko separated the two males from one another." Leave him alone."

"I'm serious, you want to touch 'em for yourself?"

"No thanks."

"Hey Mitsuru, are you apart of any other clubs?"

"The calligraphy club."

"Just dump that one. Besides, it'll just get in the way of our club's activities."

Mitsuru peered around the room and stared a Yuuki.

"Okay I'll join, but I don't know what the literary club does."

"This isn't the literary club Mitsuru."

"The club you're getting involved in is Haruki's idea, and so far h has no idea what we're going to do. And the real literary club member is him over there."

"I've got it! I know what we're going to call ourselves!"

"Well spit it out!"

_May I have our attention please? The here-to-for name of the startup club has just been decided. And its name is_

"The SOS Brigade!"

_The spreading excitement all over the world with Haruki Suzumiya Brigade. The SOS brigade for short. Take this time to roll on the floor, laughing your ass off._

_I explained to Haruki that the name should be, spreading excitement all over the world with Haruki Suzumiya organization. But we don't have the right to form an organization yet. We don't even know what the point of this club is._

"Brigade will have to do then, won't it?"

_And that's how the name of the club was decided. Yay. Just do whatever the hell you want._

**_Ending theme Music_**

**So that's it. And for those of you who've been reading my MIST Island story, I'm decided to postpone it for now 'cause I've got a new idea!**

**Anyways hope you Haruhi Suzumiya fans enjoyed it! DON'T FORGET TO RATE and REVIEW. 'Cause if I get enough reviews, followers, and favorites, I might just continue doing the whole season. Well that's it for now. Bye!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya series **

About a month ago we started school, and I'm trying to make the most of my morning hikes.

I feel like a Sisyphus forced to forever roll a boulder up a hill, trying to make it the top. Then something hit me, like a b**** slap the face, which was as hard as an 8.0 earthquake. Next thing I knew, my life would never be the same. No! Stop thinking negative! It's not like that!

Actually, a snake was slowly lingering, getting ready to strike.

_Flashback_

" If it doesn't exist, I should just make myself! And you're gonna help! I know what we're going to call or selves! The SOS Brigade!"

_End of Flashback_

And know begins the never ending hell that is my life. All thanks to Haruki Suzumiya. As if my life isn't hellish enough.

"Good morning!" I heard a gentle, soothing voice call at me from behind. I turned to return to the favor, and as I predicted, it was none other than Ryo Asakura himself." Turns out I have class duty today, so I have to get the lock from the teacher's lounge. I have to go, but I'll see ya in class!"

It's hard to believe a guy like that's in my class along with-

I met the sharp eyes of Haruki Suzumiya. Once he gave me that grin, I felt like my life was in danger. I got up from his seat and walked into the hallway to talk to me. I quickly stepped back a bit; who knows what he's capable of? "Is there anything we need right now?"

We filled out the paper, got the club room, and have five students. Well, I know we currently have three, or four, but knowing Haruki, he'll probably kidnap someone else. I responded with a bored face and replied," What are you talking about?"

"Do you think we should get a mysterious transfer student next? It exactly what the SOS Brigade needs. Something like a mysterious transfer student."

"Before you kidnap another innocent person, please explain to me what you mean by 'mysterious'."

"School started less than two months ago, so anyone who transfers into our school qualifies as mysterious! Right?"

"But what if there dad got relocated because of work?"

"Don't be an idiot! It's not normal!"

"I'd like to know what your opinion on normal is, but I'm almost afraid to ask."

Haruki turned so his back was to my face, and started talking to himself." Wonder if we'll actually get a mysterious transfer student."

I exhaled." Guess in your world, you don't give a damn about a single thing I say. Whatever just do what you want."

**_Opening theme song_**

**During lunch**

Someone started some kind of rumor that me and Haruki are planning something. And when I find out who started it, I'm going to punch them in the face!

"Okay, what's up with you and Haruki? You two aren't dating, are you?"

"No way! I don't even know what the hell we're doing!"

"Ya don't have to get all defensive. Just don't do anything stupid. Remember, you're not in middle school anymore. You dudes mess up the school or anything, you'll get suspended at the very least."

At least I know I can keep Yuuki Nagato and Mitsuru Asahina from getting involved in anything too extreme.

**In the Club room**

Haruki sat crisscross the desk, staring at the view from the window. On the desk was a black pyramid that had "Brigade Leader" written on it.

Ever since the SOS Brigade was founded, the former Literary Club now has several "things" in it. I swear, it's almost as if he's planning on living in here." Let's get a computer!"

Okay, when did it go from nothing by utter silence to getting a computer?

He jumped off the desk and declared," We're living in the information age, and we don't have a computer. I can't forgive them!"

Who is it that you can't forgive?

He suddenly pulled me by my ponytail, and almost yelled straight into my ear." Come on, let's go!"

"Do you have any idea how much a single computer costs? Please don't tell me that you're planning on raiding a computer store, or something."

"What are you talking about? Where gonna hit somewhere closer!"

**In the Computer Club's room**

Haruki barged into the room, holding a frightened Mitsuru's hand." Hey guys! I've come for a computer, and all the accessories that go with it! So who the boss here?"

A girl behind him bearing long light brown pigtails raised her hand." That would be me." Haruki turned to her and said," There's only one reason why I'd arrive here before you, the computer club, in person. I'm here for a computer, we only need one!"

Everyone in the room either gasped, or silently protested. What's really strange is that most of the students are girls. I kind of figured that the club would be mostly composed of boys." Huh? What are you talking about?"

"Don't be like that. One computer's not gonna kill ya, and you guys got a whole bunch in here!"

She rolled towards him a little, and asked," Who are you guys anyways?"

"I'm proud to present you, the SOS Brigade! I'm the leader, Haruki Suzumiya! And these are my subordinates, number one and number two."

I stared at the ground, trying to ignore the stares. I really don't want anything to do with Haruki, or this so called club.

"So there you have it, now just hand us a computer, and no one gets hurt."

"Why the hell should I? There's no way in hell that I'm giving one to you!"

Haruki simply gave her a mischievous grin, like a cunning fox. Expect this mischievous fox is more like a trickster snake." Don't worry, I think we can work something out here."

Oh no. This cannot be good.

Haruki approached Mitsuru, and pushed him towards the computer president. He grabbed her hand and shoved it in…Mitsuru's pants.

What the f***? What does he think he's doing?! Everyone in the room gasped, except for Mitsuru, who screamed loudly.

It was almost as if the whole world froze. Well at least until the moment was interrupted by a flash that came from Haruki's camera. The president quickly removed her hand from Mitsuru's pants, while Mitsuru fell to the floor on his knees. There are so many unspeakable emotions he could be feeling at this moment. "What the hell do you think you're doing!?"

Using his feet, Haruki shoved the president onto Mitsuru, and kept snapping photos." What are you, insane?!"

Haruki waved his finger side-to-side as he said," Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. I don't think so. I have photographic evidence of rape and sexual harassment. If you don't want me to spread these all over campus, hand over a computer, and be quick about it."

"That's blackmail! You forced me to do it, I'm innocent!"

Haruki smiled, and replied," Wonder how many people are going listen to your side of the story, you sexual harasser."

The black mailed student stood up, and shouted," Wait! All the club members here are witnesses!"

Several of them agreeing with her statement, and protesting along with her." Then I'll just tell everyone at school that all you geeks got up on him, and attempted to gang rape him!"

I gasped." Are you high, or something?!"

"Are you gonna hand over the computer, or what?"

"Suzumiya-san."

The president continued to look at him like he was insane, which he was, and fell to her knees." I surrender, take whatever you want."

It's like a bad comedy skit, or something.

Haruki jumped around excitingly like a monkey, and asked," Which one's the newest model?"

"Why should I tell you that?" Haruki pointed a finger at the camera, and gave her his mischievous grin. She hesitated a bit, and pointed her finger to the computer in front of Haruki." That one."

Haruki unfolded a list from his pocket." Liar! I picked up a list of the newest models, and this one's not on here!"

Haruki saw a computer on the other side of the room, looked back at the list, and announced," I'll be taking that one!" Before the members could say something else, Haruki pointed at the camera, and reminded them of the photos."

"Fine. Take it you thief!"

You got that right, he is a thief." Hey Kyonko! Can you get this?"

Haruki got his computer, but that's when things didn't go as he wanted. See, the literary club wasn't wired for internet use. After all, it is the literary club; you pretty much read books the whole time. But the only time you'd ever need to use it would be to search up a book.

Anyways, he summoned the Computer club to run a LAN cable between our rooms. He also had them set us up so we could connect using the school's domain. Can you say extortion? Good.

I walked up to Mitsuru, who was still horrified about the events that took place. I don't blame him." Come on, Mitsuru, let's go back."

He responded by holding his legs tighter, like a stubborn child." Maybe you should just stay out of this Asahina-san. Who knows what Haruki will do to you next?"

The junior wiped away his tears." No, it's okay. But you'll stay too right?"

I hesitated a little. What do I say? I refuse to follow the outrageous crap Haruki's coming up with. But I still need to make sure that Mr. Asahina and Mr. Nagato don't get into anything wacky. After seeing what happened, there's no telling what he's capable of.

"I guess the probability of this happening in this particular time plane was unavoidable."

Huh? What did he just say?

"And there's also my concerns revolving around Mr. Nagato."

"Huh?"

"Nothing, I'm just mumbling a bunch of things. I feel inexperienced, but I know that I'm going to get along with everyone here. And there's no need to be formal. Just call me Mitsuru."

**Back in the club room**

Okay, so what's next?

"So who's gonna be working on this website anyways?"

Still eyeing the computer, Haruki pointed and me and declared," That would be you. You gotta do something other than just sitting around being bored. Besides, I've gotta go out and get more members. And you had better finish it in the next couple of days. The club's dead in the water until we get this site up and running."

**The Next day**

"I'm building a website, huh?" I continued to stuff my face as I worked on the website. I know it's silly. But I actually enjoyed making it. The guys from the computer installed all the software for me, so it was child's play. I beats having a boring lunch with Tanigushi and Kunikida.

Okay, so now what? I have no clue what this SOS Brigade is actually going to do.

"Hey Nagato, is there anything you want to add on the site?"

Still possessed by his book, he replied," No, there's not."

Does he even go to class?

**Later**

"Crap! I gotta get to class!"

I turned, and Nagato was suddenly behind me with a book in his hand. I stared up at him, and he said," Take it. I lend this to you."

As I examined the cover as he exited the room.

**Later**

I'm not so sure about this whole brigade thing. So why am I so eager to get to the club room? So weird. Is this some kind of habit?" Hey."

They can't be this bored, can they? Then again, I'm not really the one to talk either.

"Where's Suzumiya-san?"

I shrugged and replied," No clue. He disappeared during sixth period. How much you want to bet that he's probably off extorting more equipment?"

"Will I have to do something like yesterday again?"

"Don't worry, you'll be fine. I'll do everything I can to make sure nothing like that happens ever again."

"You'd really do that? Thank you! I'll be counting on you!"

"You can count on me."

Haruki barged into the room carrying two shopping bags: one green, and one pink. "Yahoo!"

Yahoo? He quickly locked the door behind him, and handed Mitsuru, Nagato and I a sheet of paper. Looks like resistance is futile." Check it out!"

"A proclamation of the SOS Brigade creed."

"Now it's time for this! Ta-ta-ta-da!"

"We're gonna distribute flyer wearing these."

"Where?"

"The main gate, of course! There are plenty of students hanging out over there!"

"And what are we supposed to be wearing?"

"I have Mitsuru's right here, but yours is the other bag. After all, we need to catch the eye of the males too. There bunny costumes!"

"There's no way I'm putting that on!"

"I didn't ask you if you wanted to. You're wearing that bunny costume, that's an order!"

"Well to bad. Your just gonna have to find some other girl to do it, 'cause I'm definitely not!"

"Whatever. I've Mitsuru here anyway."

"But how am I supposed to?"

Despite Asahina-san's pleading and wining, Haruki started removing his clothes. I just sat there and watched the two of them, but when Haruki started taking off Mitsuru's shirt, I decided that I had had enough." Suzumiya-san, quit it!"

"No! No! Don't look!"

He didn't have to tell me twice. The moment I see a naked man is already reserved for when I'm actually married to the guy. I've never even seen my dad naked; just shirtless! Point is, I've never seen a naked male, and I saw not gonna start now. I got out of there without looking back.

**Later**

"No! At least let me undress myself. S-stop!"

"Okay, we're all done!"

He's like some kind of evil feudal lord.

Haruki stood before me wearing brown shorts with a fluffy cotton tail at the back, brown boots, a collar, brown bunny ears and cuffs. Mitsuru's was just a red version of Haruki's brown one." Perfect for getting some attention, huh?"

"More like a lot of attention. Isn't Nagato going to wear one of those?"

"Nah, since I bought the deluxe set, they were expensive."

"Where do you get this stuff?"

"I bought them online. Where else?"

"I see."

"Well we're off. Come on Mitsuru, let's go." Haruki grabbed Mitsuru, and forced him out of the club room. As they left, Mitsuru gave me those innocent puppy eyes. Sorry Mitsuru. To be honest, that outfit's killing me right now. Why I'm I feeling so passionate right now? Maybe I should join them, for Mitsuru's sake.

I looked in the pink bag, and saw some king of white clothing. What am I supposed to wear? I held up the costume, and froze. It was the white version of Haruki and Mitsuru's, but instead of shorts, it was a corset. I cannot imagine myself wearing something like that. If I did, no one would ever want to marry me. I'm sorry Mitsuru. Maybe I should say a prayer for him.

I saw Yuuki point at finger on the floor, still looking at his book. A mess of boxes, shirts, pants, and ties littered the floor. Good grief. I decided to pick them up off the floor. After all, what if someone comes in and sees the room like this. There are so many unspeakable things that would be running through their mind.

God, it's so damn warm from his body….

A proclamation of the SOS Brigade creed. We, the SOS Brigade, are searching for the abnormal mysteries of this universe. To you who've witnessed something mysterious in the past, experienced something weird recently, or plan on a mysterious experience in the near future. If any if the above apply, please come see us. We'll definitely get to the bottom of your situation fast! But if it's just some normal mystery, we can't assist you. We only accept mysteries that are worth our time! Got it memorized?

I guess I'm starting to get the reason of this brigade's existence.

**Later**

As I placed my cardigan onto Mitsuru's back, Haruki bust through the door complaining." Those dumb teachers always piss me off! There such a pain! A pain I tell you!"

"So what happened?"

"We handed out half the flyers, and then some teachers came out of nowhere telling us to stop! Who do they think they are!?"

If two shirtless bunny boys started handing out flyers at the front gate, I'm sure everyone would be lining up to check that out.

"Mitsuru starts crying, I get dragged into detention, Okabe, that morn gets into it, and now I have to scribble down some stupid apology letter! These dumb ass adults are pissing me off!"

I'm sure they were probably on the verge of tears.

"Well considering what you did-"

"Don't give any of that considering what you did crap! I've had it! Dismissed!"

Before Haruki could remove his shorts, I ran out of there as fast as I could." Oh shut and quit sobbing! Come on! Get changed!"

Mitsuru gave me back my cardigan, but I was too ashamed to look him in the eye." Thank you. Kyonko, if I'm unable to get married because of this, will you be willing to marry me?"

What am I supposed to say? Asahina-san, you look like a student who was denied to enter a college. Or someone who just got fired after buying their dream house. Oh, wait. Know your calling me Kyonko too!

**The Next Day**

If I had a quarter for every time someone mentioned the name, Haruki Suzumiya, I could buy myself a new game console. Great, everyone's talking about yesterday.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard a two pairs of footsteps approaching my desk. Since I didn't hear a clatter, I figured it was Tanigushi and Kunikida. Oh what does Tanigushi have to say tome this time (sarcastically)?

Tanigushi placed her hand on my head, and started scratching my hair as if I were a house." Aw, who's one of Suzumiya's little freaks?"

"Shut it."

And to make matters worse, Asahina-san's name and mine are floating around the school too.

"I couldn't believe there were bunny boys handing out flyers at the main gate. Come to think of it, wasn't the one in red the junior, Mitsuru Asahina?"

"Now everyone's going on nonstop about you guys."

"What is the SOS Brigade exactly?" I looked up, and met the eyes of the class president, Ryo Asakura." You're going to have to talk to Suzumiya about that. I don't know, and I don't even want to know."

Well you guys seem to be enjoying yourselves. But I think what happened yesterday was taking things a little too far."

That day, Asahina-san was absent from school.

"What the hell? After all that publicity, not a single email room anybody!"

After publicity like that, I doubt anyone is curios enough to get involved with us. But it did make us famous around campus.

"Huh? Mitsuru's absent today?"

Thanks to your stunt, he might ever show up on campus again. I hope he doesn't become traumatized by all this.

"Damn! And I even brought him a new outfit to wear."

"Why don't you wear it yourself?"

"Don't worry, I'm gonna wear it. It's just no fun when Mitsuru's not around."

Why don't you have Nagato wear it instead of Asahina-san? I doubt he'd put it on with any complaints. Actually, I wouldn't mind seeing him wear it.

"The SOS Brigade is founded, and we're just sitting around doing nothing! Is everyone holding out on me or something? How dare they keep all there mysteries to themselves?"

Look Haruki, ask anyone here and they'd say," Mysteries? Sure, why not." But there's no way that there'd be plenty of mysteries waiting to be solved in our little public school. You do know that right? You do realize that don't you?

You don't have anywhere to channel all that fire and energy burning inside you. Isn't that the reason for all this impulsive behavior?

Wake up and smell the fresh air. Go find a nice girl, and walk home from school together. Or maybe you could take her to see a movie on Sunday. Or join one of the sports teams, and go out there and give 'em hell. Heck, they'd make you a member in the blink of an eye.

"I'm going home!"

"Well I guess that's my cue."

"Did you read it?"

"Read what?"

"The book."

"I'm sorry, I forgot. You want me to return it"

"That is not necessary, but I advise you read it as soon as you get home."

"Okay."

**Later**

I was riding home on my bike after running a few errands. I'm wearing blue jeans, a yellow shirt, and a red jacket. I could've gone in my school uniform, but I preferred wearing the pants. I guess I'm kind of the tomboy type.

When I got back, I had nothing better to do. So I decided to kill the time, and crack open that book Nagato gave me. While I flipped through the pages, a book mark fell out. It said," I'll wait at the park across Kouyouen Station at 7."

I rushed down the stairs, and my little brother asked," Where are you going sis?"

"I'm going to the station, and don't talk with your mouth full."

**At Kouyouen Station**

As I pedaled through the darkness, I could see Nagato sitting at the bench near the street light. I finally came to a stop, and breathed heavily." Was today okay?" He nodded in response." Were you here yesterday too?" He nodded once more." Why'd you pick this place to meet up?"

"This way."

We walked all the way to an apartment building, and took the elevator. And when we got to his apartment, he offered me tea." Where's your folks?"

"There no here."

"I know they're not here. Did they go out or something?"

"I'm the only one who's ever lived here."

"You actually live here all by yourself!?"

"Yes."

"What exactly do you want from me?"

The silent freshman high schooler poured me a cup of tea and handed it to me." Drink." So I did what he requested, and drank my cup of tea. And then he poured me another cup, and another cup, and another cup. If this doesn't end soon, I'm gonna explode. They'll have to hose me off the walls." Can you tell me why you dragged me all the way to your apartment now? Is it something you couldn't talk to about during school?"

"It concerns Haruki Suzumiya and in addition, myself. That is what I'm going to talk to you about."

"Okay, so what's up with you and Suzumiya-san?" Don't tell me that he's going to admit he's gay and that he has an eye out for Haruki. I didn't mean to get all negative, but, well. You know what I meant." It's hard to convey in words."

Okay, maybe my theory's correct.

"Discrepancies may arise during the transmission of data. Aside from that, listen. Haruki Suzumiya and I are not ordinary humans."

"I can kind of already see that."

"I'm not referring to absence of universally accepted personality traits. I meant what I said. Suzumiya-san and I are diverse from the vast majority of humans such as yourself. I am organic life contact-purpose humanoid interface created by the Data Integration Thought Entity which supervises this galaxy. But in more common terminology, I would be classified as what you'd call an alien."

"An alien?"

_**Ending Theme Song_**

**Well, there's been kind of a debate on whether the gender bent version of Mikuru would have big muscles or a huge *****. I decided to go with the big muscles, for future purposes, and because I didn't want Kyonko to seem too much of a pervert. **

**I mean, I know Kyon's kind of the pervert (that's normal for guys, but I prefer he not be) but if it was switch to Mitsuru having a big *****. Then it would be like saying Mikuru has a huge ******, instead of having big breasts.**

**I also included the part with the bunny costume for Kyonko because I want her to wear it in the future. And she might also end up dressing up in some of Mikuru's outfits too. And I might even make Haruki turn into quite the pervert Kyon is.**

**With that being said, Itsuko will be the "Haruhi" sort of, but I'm going to do my best not to make her seem like a lesbian. From my perspective, Koizumi only seems 20% gay. 20% being the times when he'd get too close and the other's when he sort of stalked Kyon. Like that time in season 1, episode 5.**

**Some dude who claims to be an espier, unexpected, shows up to your house and says that he's been waiting for you. Kind of creepy right?**

**Anyways, I'll see you later **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own any thing from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya franchise. All characters, ideas, and such belong to its originators.**

"You're….an alien?"

"My assignment is to monitor Haruki Suzumiya and report the acquired intelligence to the Data Integration Thought Entity. I have been executing this duty daily since I was conceived three years ago. During that phase, the circumstances were stable. But the recent unorthodox elements occurring near Haruki Suzumiya cannot be overlooked. That being you."

_**Opening Theme Song_**

"From the Data Integration Thought Entity's perspective, the third planet of this solar system situated at the verge of the Milky Way, had no implication. However, Earth, as titled by its current inhabitant life forms, was the origin of the advancement of bipedal biological life forms that founded cerebral capability that could be classified as intelligence, and soon, this planet matured in significance.

It is possible that your species possess the aptitude to be released of the standstill of auto evolution that the Entity is presently undergoing. Among the universe, the occurrence of self-awareness has been widespread to organic life forms. But terrestrial humans were the principal case of evolution to a sophisticated order of intelligence. The Entity thoroughly, yet cautiously proceeded with these annotations.

Three years ago, we witnessed a data flare diverse from any other analyzed on this planet. This eruption of statistics was from one expanse of a bow shaped archipelago, rapidly cloaked the planet, and dispersed into outer space. In the interior of this was Haruki Suzumiya.

During the span of three years, a number of investigations have been carried out inspecting the presence known as Harumi Suzumiya. However, he remains as an enigma, or information outburst of unidentified basis.

Regardless, a subdivision of the Entity remains to carry out its analysis of Haruki Suzumiya. The Entity supposes that Haruki Suzumiya is the fundamental to the auto evolution of mankind and the Entity itself.

The Entity, as statistic life forms, is incapable of directly collaborating with biological life forms. They do not possess language, and your class lacks the capability to collaborate without verbal use. That is the intention behind the construction of human interfaces, such as myself. The Data Integration Thought Entity is capable to come in commerce with humans through me.

Haruki Suzumiya grasps the concealed aptitude for auto evolution. He possesses the capability to govern the environmental data surrounding him for his benefit. That is why I am here, and that is why you are here."

Okay, raise your hand if you have no idea what the hell he just said in the past five minutes." Excuse me, but I don't understand any of this."

"Trust me."

"First of all, why me? Let's pretend that I believe all this stuff you're telling me about this Data Integration wacha- mu- hus- it thingy in space. Why would you even bother to reveal your identity to me?"

"You were chosen by Haruki Suzumiya. Whether he apprehends it, or not, Haruki Suzumiya has the supremacy to convert her motivation into the form of unqualified data. There is a purpose to why he chose you other than someone else."

"You cannot be serious."

"I am. Haruki Suzumiya and you have the possibilities within your grasp."

"This isn't a joke is it?"

"By no means."

It's like that say, "Never judge a book by its cover." But now that this book's finally opened his mouth, the stuff he's saying sounds totally wacky.

"I'll bet that if you tell Haruki about this stuff, he'd go bananas. My apologies, but I still don't get any of this."

"The Data Integration Thought Entity believes that if Haruki Suzumiya becomes aware of his potential, it would result in a catastrophic episode. So for the time being, we chose to perceive the situation."

"But I could just run out, and tell Suzumiya everything you said to me."

"It is most likely that he will not take the data you feed to him professionally."

"No doubt about that."

"I am not the solitary interface employed on this planet by the Data Integration Thought Entity. Another subdivision of the Data Integration Thought Entity has intentions on executing further proactive pursuits with Haruki Suzumiya in order to view fluctuations in data. You are the fundamental to Haruki Suzumiya. If a calamity manages, you are the first aim."

That's enough nuttiness for one day.

**Later**

Humanoid inter-what? An alien huh? Considering he always has is nose in the book, that's probably were he gets these bizarre delusions from. He probably shields himself in his own little world, and doesn't say a thing to anyone in his class. And he's probably one of those hardcore otakus. Geez, those two need to snap out of their fantasies, and enjoy a normal life for a change.

**The next day**

"I can't believe it! They've finally come! Our long-waited mysterious transfer student! Isn't it awesome!? No doubt about it!"

"How do you know there mysterious when you haven't even seen them yet?"

"Don't you listen to anything? Like I said before, any student who transfers in this halfway point during the school year is guaranteed to be mysterious!"

"Who was the one that implanted that idea in your head? 'Cause if it's guaranteed to be true, then the majority of Japan's population would be considered-"

Before I could finish my sentence, Haruki was already out of his seat." I'm going on a search!"

"And he's gone."

When I visited the club after school, I was happy to find that Asahina-san had heroically recovered in one day." I'm surprised to that your actually willing to come back after everything happened."

"I was hesitant, but I realized that I still had concerns."

I swear, I've heard him say something similar before.

"What kind of concerns, exactly?"

"It's nothing, really."

He stopped for a moment, and noticed Nagato standing behind me." What, do you want to play?"

"So Nagato, have you ever played Othello?" He simply shook his head instead of a verbal reply.

There's something that bothered me the whole time. On several occasions, Asahina-san would attempt to look at Nagato in the eye. But he'd look away all nervous. What's up with him? You don't think that it has anything to do with Nagato being an alien, do you?

I'm not saying that I believe he's an alien and I'm not saying that I don't. For now I'll just bite my lip and pretend that I actually believe he's an alien. I'm going to need some proof before I can be certain he's telling the truth.

In that moment, Haruki burst through the door shouting," Sorry to keep you guys waiting! A mysterious someone transferred into freshman class nine today, and her name is-"

"Itsuko Koizumi. It's a pleasure to meet you all." She had wavy light brown hair that fell right to her shoulders.

"This is the SOS Brigade! I'm Haruki Suzumiya, the leader, and these are my subordinates, #1, #2, and #3. And incidentally, you're the fourth. Everyone is required to make him feel right at home!"

"I have no hesitation joining, but do mind telling me what this club does?"

"I'd be glad to tell you what exactly the SOS Brigade is all about. Attention! The SOS Brigade's mission is to catch aliens, time travelers, espers, and hang out with them!"

It's like the entire world came to a grinding halt. Okay, I'm over-exaggerating. However, I remembered Haruki's proclamation on day one.

"Oh, I get it! Just as predicted from Suzumiya-san."

What did just she just get?

"Alright, I'll join your club. I hope to have a great time with all of you."

What the heck? You're actually going to accept that?! Either she has absolutely no sense of hearing, or she's been smoking weed lately. She held out her hand and said," Nice to meet you, I'm Itsuko Koizumi. Since I've recently transferred here, there's a lot I'm still getting familiar with, so feel free to show me the ropes."

I returned the gesture and replied," Sure, my name's-"

"That's Kyonko! The handsome fella over there's Mitsuru Asahina, and the bookworm over there's Yuuki Nagato."

Mitsuru was standing from the chair, but tripped, and fell face first onto the table." Oh my goodness, are you alright."

"We have five members, which makes us as a full-fledged club!"

Itsuko helped Mitsuru on his feet, and I noticed her wandering hands find their way on Mitsuru's chest. And Mitsuru began blushing as he said," Don't worry, I'm fine." Man did that piss me off!

"Alright! The time has finally come for the SOS Brigade to be unveiled to the world! Brigadiers, be prepared to give it your all and fight as one!"

What do you mean by fighting unveiled? Speaking of which, Nagato's become a member. Are you okay with facing the consequences, Nagato?

Moving along, it's currently after school the following day.  
I opened the door, bracing myself for whatever bizarre idea Haruki had come up with next. But when I twisted the knob, and opened the door, I saw a sight that was rather….um….disturbing." Stop being such a baby, and take it off!"

Haruhi was behind Mitsuru, and had his arm across Mitsuru's neck as if he were strangling him from behind. Mitsuru, yelling him to stop, had both of his hands on Haruki's arm, hitting him, and trying to get his arm of his neck. Furthermore, all Mitsuru had on was his socks and his blue boxers. Haruki had his other hand on Mitsuru's boxers, ready to pull them off. But Haruki and Mitsuru stopped their movements when they suddenly noticed me standing at the door.

Mitsuru immediately turned right red, and Haruki shout," Get out of here!"

I quickly slammed the door closed and whispered," Forgive me."

**Later**

"When it comes to moe, forgetting the maid or waiter is a crime. You need one in every school life based story."

"May I ask what kind of school life stories you've been reading lately?"

"Now then, it's photo time!"

"Huh? No! Don't take a picture!" Sure, Asahina-san was a bit timid at first, but he kind of started to enjoy it." Tilt your chin a little more. Okay, now wrap your arm around your stomach. Come on! Give me a bigger smile! Alright, now give me a wink!"

Haruki got back on his feet and handed the camera to me." Take over for me Kyonko." Haruki walked over to Mitsuru with that mischievous grin of his, and began taking apart Mitsuru's vest and shirt. And of course, Mitsuru started squirming and yelling at him to stop." Don't be shy! Now you're going to look even sexier than before!"

How is this sexier? There's nothing sexier or even legal about it. But I shouldn't be talking, since I'm the one snapping the photos." No! "

"Yo, Yuuki! Hand me you glasses for a sec!"

And the glasses are on. What the hell does he intend to use these photos for anyway?

"This is awesome. A glasses wearing waiter with ripped six-pack! This is fantastic! As leader of the SOS Brigade, I command you wear this outfit whenever you're in the clubroom!"

"Oh no."

Just then, Itsuko finally arrived in the clubroom." What's going on here!?"

"Awesome timing, Itsuko! Let's all have some fun with Mitsuru!" Fun? What kind of fun? Your just using him as if he were some doll! I wasn't going to stand there and let Mitsuru get degraded like that. So separated them, and gave Haruki a good scolding." Cut it out already! "

Itsuko just smiled and took a seat." I think I'll have to decline on the offer. I'm a little worried about the outcome. Don't mind me, go head and continue." Are you blind or something?! I could use a little help here!" Cut it out! Don't you realize the stuff you're doing has to be illegal?!"

"What's illegal about it?! Never mind, I snapped a bunch of pictures anyway." After returning Nagato's glasses, he stood on his chair, and declared," Attention! The first meeting of the SOS Brigade will officially commence! We've worked our butts off to make it all happen here, and now. We handed out flyers, and even designed our own homepage! And the fame of the SOS Brigade in this school has skyrocketed."

Uh, no. Abusing and emotionally scarring Asahina-san isn't something to be proud of. And what fame? Everyone at school thinks we're some band of freaks!

"However, we haven't received a single tale of abnormal phenomenon in our email inbox, and not a single person has come forth with any bizarre situation."

No surprise. No one even has a clear concept of what this clubs supposed to be about. We didn't even find out what kind of club this is until yesterday.

"Someone once said,' Good things come to those who wait.' But we have no time to waste just sitting around doing nothing! We have to search for those goods things ourselves, even if we have to dig up every inch of this planet! That's why we're going to go out there and look for them ourselves!"

"What exactly are we searching for? "

"The mysteries of this world, duh!"

**Saturday**

So next thing you know, we went on our tour seeking abnormal phenomena. So the plan was: Meet here on Saturday, meet at 9a.m in front of Kitaguchi station. Those who aren't present, heads will roll. Heads will roll, huh? You know, I have better things to do than waste my time here. And when I rushed meet with everyone else, I was greeted by Haruki with a," Your tardy! Penalty!"

Haruki's proposal: We all split into groups of two and search the city for mysterious phenomena. If one group discovers something, contact the other group via cellphone. That's it.

Haruki stated at his stick with an angry expression, and then at all of us." We have our assigned groups."

It might be a lucky day for me after all. If I get the opportunity to go on a date with Asahina-san, treating everyone to lunch for my tardiness is no biggy." Snap out of it! Be more professional here! This isn't a date, Kyonko! Understand?"

"Understood." He then took a large sip from his glass, and we headed outside to begin our search." Don't think this is fun and games! You heed my words, or I'm gonna pop some heads!"

And with those words, Haruki's group departed to investigate the east side of the station. Asahina-san and I were instructed to investigate the west side, but instead. "So what now?"

Next thing you know, we headed to the park. The scenery was peaceful and luminous. Actually, when people saw us coming by, they'd think that we were on some date. We kind of had that image of a shy boy who finally came up with the courage to ask out his crush. The fact that he kept staring at the ground acting nervous, while I sometime stared at him curiously, might have given them that idea." You know, this is actually the first time I've ever been out for a walk like this."

"What do you mean?"

"Walking alone with a girl." Should I, or should I not? Before I realized it, my shoulder touched his arm by accident. When he looked down at me, I got a glimpse of light red blossoming on his cheeks. Since I could already sense the blood rushing to my face, I quickly turned away, and separated from him.

Trying to forget what just happened, I attempted to say calmly," Y-you're kidding right? You've seriously never gone on a date before?" Instead of a verbal reply, he nodded. Okay, okay, I was a bit happy about that. If he ever wanted to ask me out, I'd say yes in a heartbeat. I bet he could show me a good time too. Wait! No, no, no! That came out wrong! I didn't mean it like that! Honest!

I giggle a bit, and replied," But don't you have girls just lining up to ask you out?" I could now see that shade of red clearer that before. He nervously replied," Y-yeah, but I not allowed to. Actually, I'm not allowed to get involved with anyone. At least, not in this-" He paused, and looked at me with a serious expression." Kyonko, there's something I need to ask of you."

Asahina-san and I sat on the nearest bench. After several stumbling starts, Asahina-san eventually started putting his words together, and began clarifying. "I know it's hard to believe, but I don't belong in this era. I come from another time that's further into the future. I'm unable to tell you precisely when and which time plane I come from. I'm severely restricted to reveal any information about the future.

Time isn't classified as something that continuously flows; rather time is an accumulation of punctuated planes. It's really a sequence of still frames even though it seems as if the pictures are moving; like animation. Time is just like that. However, their rate of manifestation is nearly zero. This is the cause of time having no permanence.

The definition of time travel is moving in a three-dimensional course across the hoarded time planes. Since I'm from the future, my presence in this era is comparable to an additional image inserted into a flip book.

My existence here is due to a massive time quake that was distinguished three years ago." Know I remember hearing that exact same phrase. Oh no, don't tell me it has something to do with 'you know who' again. "That's three years from the current time in this epoch! When we reached the prior to inspect the matter, we were stunned. No matter how many times we attempted, we were unable to travel any further back in time.

The outcome was that there had to be a large period gap between time planes. We only discovered the potential cause just recently. In the future I come from that is." He started at me with those bewitching eyes as I asked," So what's behind all of this?" Please don't say Haruki, please don't say Haruki!" Suzumiya-san." Damn it! Not this again! "He was positioned in the very midpoint of the time distortion. Apologizes, but since the remainder is confidential data, I'm restricted to explain any further. However, we're confident that it was Suzumiya-san who secured our access to the past."

"I'm not so sure that Haruki is actually capable of doing something like that." He nodded and replied," Trust me, it's a mystery to us as well. Suzumiya-san is unaware that she is the cause behind the time quake. That's why I was sent to this era to witness any recent time anomalies developing near Suzumiya-san. So I'm kind of like a surveillance camera."

We stared at one another for a while until he said," You probably don't believe a word I just said." I quickly replied," No, not really. But why are you telling me all of this?"

"You were the one who chosen by Suzumiya-san. I can't go into further detail since it's confidential. But you're very special to Suzumiya-san. There's a motive behind every action he performs. Even if it's insignificant as raising a hand, or taking a step."

"But what about Nagato and Itsuko?"

"In my perspective, they're in a similar position. But I never predicted that Suzumiya-san would assemble us in such an accurate technique."

"So you know who and what there are, Asahina san?"

"I'm afraid that's confidential."

"If you're from the future and you're in my era, doesn't that mean you're a paradox?"

"That's confidential."

"Can I ask what's going to happen to Haruki?"

"That's confidential."

"Since you're from the future, you know what's going to happen, right?"

"That's confidential."

"Wait a sec! Why don't you just walk up to Haruki, and tell all this stuff to him yourself?"

"That's confidential. Apologizes, but at the moment I'm unauthorized to reveal anything right now. It's alright if you don't believe me. I just wanted you to know about it. "I recall hearing something similar a couple of days ago." I apologize about all this being so sudden."

"No, I have no problem with it." First we have an alien, and now a time traveler. What the hell's going on here? If there's any individual that understands any of this nonsense, phone me. I'd love to switch places with you in a heartbeat." Asahina-san."

"Yes?"

"Is it alright if we just put this situation on hold? Can we just set aside the matter of whether I believe you or not, and get back to it later?"

"Of course."

"Do you mind I ask one more thing?"

"Go ahead."

"Would you mind telling me you real age?" He placed a finger near his lip, and winked as he said once more," That's confidential." After my chat with Asahina-san, I received a sudden phone call from Haruki, and we were told to reassemble at noon." Any results?"

"Not a thing." His expression got more serious as he retorted," Were you two really looking? I hope you weren't just goofing off Mitsuru." He nervously shook his head, and I asked," Did you find anything?"

While were eating lunch, Haruki said he wanted to split into groups again. Itsuko was the first to draw, and she said," I got an unmarked one again." Mitsuru was next to draw, only this time, she picked the same as Itsuko. Then I was next, once again with a marked one, fourth was Nagato, who also chose a marked one, and Haruki was stuck with an unmarked one again." At four, we'll assemble back at the station. You better find something this time!" After taking a large sip from his drink, we all went our separate ways. But this time we went searching North and South. Nagato and I were responsible for the Southside." Remember what you said a couple of days ago?"

"What?"

"I think I'm starting to believe you know."

"I see."

If I you ever decide to pass the time with Nagato, the library is pretty much the only place I could think of. While Nagato was busy looking for books, I sat down with an 'Escape from the School', manga book.

I was enjoying my peaceful rest, when I suddenly felt a loud vibrate coming from a pocket in my blue sweater. Luckily, when I was startled from the rude awakening, no one bothered to pay attention to me. I answered to phone, and heard Haruki yell into my ear," Do you realize what time it is!?" Because Haruki was so loud, people began staring at me like I was crazy. But if they want to know the real crazy one, it's the voice coming from my cellphone." I'm sorry, but would you mind keeping your voice down?"

"Well if you'd listen to me for once, I wouldn't have to yell at you just to get your damn mind straight! You slacking bitch!" I checked the time on my cell, and it was 4:30. No wonder Haruki's so pissed off." We were supposed to meet up an four?"

"You've got within thirty seconds to get your ass down here!" Getting Nagato to remove himself from a book while he's reading is like walking on water. I had to get him a library card just so he could borrow the book. During that, I had to deal with the flood of phone call from Haruki." You're tardy! Penalty!"

In the end, we didn't find a single thing that could even be classified the slightest bit of phenomenon. This whole search this was not only a waste of time, but also a waste of my money too. As we were going our separate ways, I felt Asahina-san place a hand on my shoulder, and whisper from behind," Thank you for listening for what I said." His warm breath, felt gentle against my ear."

Once Asahina-san disappeared into the crowd, Haruki said," Okay, spill the beans. You were goofing off, weren't you?" I turned to him, and spat," And you're not really one to talk, are you? You didn't even find any of your so-called mysterious phenomenon. Besides, they're not careless enough to let you find them all in one day."

"Day after tomorrow, we'll have to review your behavior today." And with that, Haruki stormed away. I went to go get my bike, but all that was left was a sign that said," Your illegally parked bike has been confiscated." Damn it!

**Monday**

A new week had started. And we were at the point where the humidity of the rainy season left us sweating like pig early in the morning. Haruki finally showed up right before the final bell rang. Man, I wish we were in our summer uniforms right now." Stop hogging the breeze."

"Not a chance. Haruki, have you ever heard the story," The Bluebird of Happiness"? He looked away annoyed and replied," So what?" I opened my mouth to say something, but instead, I said," Never mind."

"Then don't say a word about it." After spending the day being showered from behind of Haruki's miserable aura of unhappiness, like a field mouse sensing a bushfire, I scurried to the club room. After all, there was a certain someone that I needed to have a word with." Let me guess Itsuko, you have something to talk to me about concerning Suzumiya, don't you?"

Asahina-san walked around the room, and all three of us our cups of tea. As Asahina-san was about to present Itsuko with her cup, she asked," Asahina-san, Nagato-san, do you mind stepping out for a bit? I did like to have a private conversation with Kyonko." Both males agreed and exited the room." It seems as if the other two gentlemen have already spoken with you. Is that right?" I folded my arms against my chest and quietly nodded. "So much do you know?"

"That Haruki Suzumiya isn't exactly your ordinary human."

"I see. Then that should make my side of the story more understandable. That's definitely the situation were currently undergoing."

"I'd like to start this off by you telling me your true identity."

"As you may have suspected, I'm what you'd call an esper. It's best we leave it at that at the moment. Honestly, I didn't count on transferring to this school so quickly, but the situation has been altered. I also didn't realize that Haruki would've joined with the other two so swiftly. But I'm certain we'll be able to go into further detail in the near future. They say," Seeing is believing," and I have something to show you. However, for the time being, I'll give you a summary.

The agency I'm from includes several other espers other than me. Actually, there are other agents that have been assigned to this school as well. Ever since the agency was conceived three years ago, we've been observing Suzumiya-san.

Something very interesting happened three years ago. That was when the powers I currently have now were awakened within me."

"How's Haruki tied into what happened three years ago?"

"The sempais of the agency consider that this world is nothing more than a hallucination that a certain being is viewing to us. Furthermore, since it's a dream, that being has the capability to destroy and alter what we call reality. And we're certain that we know the alias of the being that has the ability to commit such acts."

"You mean Haruki?"

"I'd say that humans would refer such a being as God." Congrats, Haruki. You've earned the title, God." Think of it this way. You've got espers such as myself, and being such as Mitsuru Asahina and Yuuki Nagato all existing in the same place. Is it really so coincidental that we've appeared all at the same time in such a precise matter? This is all happening because Suzumiya-san wished for it. And he probably wished for it three years ago."

"You mean Haruki actually altered the universe three years ago?"

"No. This world was conceived three years ago rather than altered. However, that's merely a theory we espers have."

"Okay, so just what exactly do you espers intend to do with Haruki?"

"Well if this world displeases its God, it could merely be destroyed and recreated at whim. My agency wants to prevent any thing similar from occurring. I'm actually quite fond of this world."

"Why don't you just walk up to Haruki, and ask him yourself?"

"Well, there are some of my fellow members who indeed consider such a measure. And others consider conducting more aggressive measures to stimulate him. However, the majority is at the opinion of us not interfering. Suzumiya-san has yet to discover his true potential. If that's the circumstances, the agency believes that its best Suzumiya-san never finds out, and lives out his life peacefully."

"Letting sleeping gods lie, is that it?"

"Precisely."

"You sure that it isn't just you guys dreaming?"

"Well that also could be considered as another possibility. However, for the time being, we're merely functioning under the hypothesis of a worst case scenario."

"Fine, how about you prove to me that you're truly an esper? Display your abilities, and I'll believe ever word you've just said to me. Here's an idea, how about you reheat this cup of tea that Asahina-san made?"

"My powers can't be easily detained. To tell you the truth, the majority of the time don't have any powers at all. I can only use them when certain conditions are present. Besides, like I said in the beginning, I believe I'll have an opportunity to display me powers for you. I apologize for wasting your time, but I believe that's-"

For some reason, Itsuko paused in the middle of her sentence, and began looking at the rack that had Asahina-san's clothes hanging on it. She head towards a pick shopping bag, and pulled out that white bunny girl costume I refused to wear." Oh my, what's this?" I walked up behind her, and replied," A white bunny girl costume. Why do you ask?"

Itsuko grinned." There's a purple on here too!" What the heck!? When the hell did he get another one? "You know, I bet you'd look great in this." Her expression soon changed into one of Haruki's mischievous smiles. Oh crap. I slowly backed away as she walked over to lock the door. It was too late to escape when Itsuko pounced on me." No! Get off of me! Stop it!" In no time, Itsuko removed my blue skirt, and my shoes." Okay, okay! I'll take it off myself!"

She finally stopped and removed herself from me. That's when I took my chance to escape, and unlocked the door. But I was once again man-handled by Itsuko." Come on! You'll look great." And it was just when Itsuko successfully removed my bra, Mitsuru opened the door.

Okay, no. Actually, I had my arm covering my breast, so he didn't see too much. But he could still see my panties. And we just stared at one another in the eye, while I froze there, blushing madly. Asahina-san also began turning a bright read, and murmured," I'm so sorry. I'm in the wrong room." And in no time he closed the door, even though I shouted," No! It's the right room! Please! Come back and help me."

Well I guess I could only blame myself for that awkward moment. If I hadn't unlocked the door, Asahina-san would've just stayed at the other end of the door. And I don't blame him for closing the door instead of helping me. But know I know how he feels whenever Suzumiya changes him.

Anyways, Itsuko and I finally opened the door. She was wearing the purple bunny girl suit, while I was wearing the white one." How do we look?"

Still blushing from the accident, Asahina-san commented," You both look wonderful in those." I sighed, and walked over to shut the door." Yeah, yeah, you've had your fun. Now let's take these off already."

Oddly, Haruki never showed up to the club room

**_Ending Theme Song_**

**Man this chapter was exhausting….**

**Anyways, don't forget to review, and I'll see you guys in the next chapter.**

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